Getting Back to Stoicism
Getting Back to Stoicism
Continuing my Stoic journey
When life is kicking the crap out of you, how do you to cope?
For some people it’s drugs and alcohol, other’s choose the gym, and some throw themselves into the digital world.
For me it’s Stoicism, which has been a pillar of my life ever since I learned about it back in 2017.
Because while Stoicism was created over 2000 years ago, it’s as relevant today as it was when it was founded.
Stoicism teaches us that we should focus on the things we can control, accept the things we can’t, and cultivate inner peace by living virtuously according to reason and nature.
When I first found Stoicism I was in the military, and I was struggling with depression and feeling trapped in my situation.
I was miserable because I was counting down the days until I got out of the military, not to mention I was wrapped up in thinking about how things “should” be, instead of how they were.
I was focused on things I couldn’t control, and not on the things I could.
Then I read the book “The Obstacle is The Way” by Ryan Holiday and it was like a punch in the mouth.
Here I was thinking my situation was unbearable, and in this book I read about people who endured so much worse, and didn’t just endure it… they took it in stride.
These people turned their obstacles into opportunities.
"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."
– Marcus Aurelius
It put my situation in perspective.
Not in a “Your suffering doesn’t matter because others have it worse” kind of way,
(That line of thinking doesn’t make anyone feel better)
But in a way that woke me up to the fact that if I spent less time feeling bad about my situation, and more time on the things I can control (my attitude, thoughts, and actions)… that would be a better use of my time and energy.
So I started with my thoughts, realizing that how I was thinking was the source of most of my pain.
"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts."
–Marcus Aurelius
Think about it… the same thing could happen to you in two different situations, and you’d react different.
If you spilled a drink all over your shirt while alone at home, you might feel mildly irritated, but not think much else of it.
But if you spilled a drink all over yourself while out at dinner with friends, you might feel embarrassed, or even go as far as to say your night is ruined because you stained your shirt and everyone saw it.
The same thing happened in both cases, but in the second situation the thoughts we’d have would make it seem worse.
“I can’t believe I did that in front of everyone”
“Now my shirt is ruined. This is so embarrassing”
… You get the point.
Stoicism teaches us, (and modern psychology affirms), that we can control our thoughts.
When we control our thoughts, we control our feelings, and that can snowball into a drastically better mental state.
"It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters."
–Epictetus
Another concept that really hit me in that book was the philosophy of Memento Mori. I even got Ryan Holiday’s Memento Mori medallion, and I would carry it in my uniform pocket almost every day.
Memento Mori means “Remember you must die”, and is a call to us to live our life rightly.
I started to meditate more on death, as the Stoics encourage us to do. This isn’t a negative or sad exercise. It’s actually meant to be inspiring, by making us see how short life truly is.
When we meditate on the shortness of life, and truly accept our finitude, we see time differently.
Is it worth spending a whole day mad about something trivial?
Do I wanna spend my day scrolling on my phone or binging another show?
Am I living in a way that honors my one shot at life?
Memento Mori helped me confront the situation I was in, and realize I didn’t want to waste any more of my precious life feeling miserable, or sorry for myself.
While it wasn’t an overnight fix, as I practiced Stoicism and continued to read more and more books… it changed my life.
It got me through the rest of my military contract, and countless other hardships throughout my life.
Back to the present day…
Now I’m revisiting Stoicism, because it’s not something you can read once and you’ve got it.
It’s something you read over and over, keep fresh in your mind, and strive to practice everyday.
I’m happy to say I’m getting back to my Stoic roots, and reminding myself to be a lifelong student of Stoicism.
It’s the philosophy that changed my life more than anything else, and I can’t imagine life without it.
Thanks for reading,
– Josh
P.S. If you wanna explore Stoicism for yourself. I’d recommend these few books below as a great start.