How an Accountability Group Can Save Your Life
How an Accountability Group Can Save Your Life
The power of positive peer pressure
Every once in awhile I come across a quote or statistic that’s so mind-blowing I can’t stop thinking about it for weeks.
(and usually those become what I write about here).
This one in particular though really hit home for me, and made me understand how important it is to have the right kind of support.
How many times have you set a goal, or committed to a habit, only to fall off a few days or weeks later?
If you’re anything like me, the answer is something like “I’ve lost count”.
And I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing.
Sometimes we start a habit or a goal with the best intentions, but soon find out it’s not a good fit for us.
But what about the goals we know would be good for us?
The resolution to get more exercise, eat better, quit drinking or smoking, improve our mental health?
The truth?…
Even though we know they’re good for us, most people still end up falling short on these goals.
But let’s take it to the extreme now…
What if your Doctor called you tomorrow and said,
“We got your labs back. It’s not looking good buddy boy… You’ve gotta start exercising 3 days a week, clean up your diet, and stop the smoking or you won’t make it another 5 years.”
First of all, that’s a hardcore doctor’s call.
But more importantly, you’d definitely make the changes right?
I mean, even if we fell short in our previous attempts, the threat of imminent death would be the rocket fuel we need to make those changes for good!… Right?
Unfortunately… No.
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An article titled “Change or Die” (released by Fast Company back in 2005) looked at studies where patients had severe medical conditions that required them to make certain lifestyle changes…
The result?
After 12 months 90% of the patients had reverted back to their previous habits.
Think about that for a second.
These people had their doctor give them some version of the talk from above… tell them that if they don’t change it’s all over… and despite their best efforts 90% of them couldn’t even make the changes for a year.
Side bar: This extreme example is a reason I believe so much in self-actualization and continuously working on yourself. We think we could change if we really wanted to, but if you haven’t developed mastery, self discipline, and the proper habits… you might not be able to change even when it matters most.
So this has all been grim so far, but there is good news.
One group in the study had a success rate 7x higher, at almost 80%.
What was the difference that made this group so much more successful?
They were involved in peer support groups.
The implications of this are immense. Not just for the person with a life-threatening illness, but for all of us who struggle to achieve the goals that mean the most to us.
It shows the importance of having the right people around you, and the power of peer pressure.
When people hear peer pressure, they tend to think of negative peer pressure — the teen smoking or drinking because their friends are doing it.
But there’s also positive peer pressure.
Where the group around you influences you in a positive way.
I experienced this in the military, when all my coworkers in my work area were into fitness.
Being fit is rare, even in the military. Most people are doing the bare minimum to make weight, and only work out when required.
But in my area (completely by chance) there were a bunch of us who worked out even before we got into the military.
So when everyone was eating healthy, or when everyone was gonna be hitting the gym that day, you didn’t wanna be the one guy who skipped the workout or brought donuts as your breakfast.
It was peer pressure, but in a positive direction.
So this is what we should strive for.
If you want to succeed in the things that mean most to you, it’s crucial that you get some accountability systems in place.
Join a gym and make new friends.
Join a “mastermind group”.
Find a meetup of like minded people.
Or find your community online.
In the study from above, the people who succeeded met weekly in peer support groups, so that frequency is a good benchmark.
If you can find your group, and meet once a week, that’s a surefire way to improve your odds of staying consistent with your goals.
Lastly, what should you look for in an accountability or support group?
Well according to the authors of The 12 Week Year (the book that inspired this article), it should be simple, semi structured, and supportive.
What you want is a group of people (or even just one good friend!) who get together, share their weekly wins, and share their goals for the next week. If someone fell short that week, the group should offer guidance on how they can do better the next week.
What you don’t want is a group that’s going to be overly competitive, compare who did the most that week, or put you down if you don’t reach your goals. That might be some people’s thing, but it’s not mine, and it’s probably not yours either.
When I was completing my degree for example, I knew I wanted to do it fast, so I found a group on Facebook dedicated to “accelerating”, which just means graduating earlier than 4 years. Some people do it in 3 years, 2 years, or even 6-12 months, but the point is we were all there for the same reason.
Anytime I was stuck, I could ask a question and get feedback. And just seeing people sharing their wins every day motivated me to keep pushing.
So what is it you wanna do? Fitness, writing, coding? There’s a group out there!
Find your group, ask them to help you stay accountable (in a supportive way), and get to work.
Because change is hard… so hard in fact that people don’t choose it even when their life is on the line.
But if you get into the habit of self-mastery now, then change will become something you can do at will.
When you want to, and especially if you need to.
Thanks for reading,
– Josh