The Danger of Misliving
I’ve been struggling with something lately…
And as I did more research, read books, and watched videos from experts, I realized I’m not alone in this.
In fact, it’s one of the most common struggles people have today…
Focus.
And what I’ve learned is that a lot of it stems from us living in a time where we are drowning in pleasure and convenience.
Hungry? Doordash, UberEats, drive-through fast food. (Hell, even a grocery store is a big step up from growing and hunting our own food).
Bored? Tiktok, Social media, video games.
Lonely? Post on social media for validation, swipe on a dating app, or visit other… websites… you shouldn’t be on.
See the pattern?
Everything we want is readily available through the phone in our pocket.
And we’ll do anything to avoid feeling bored.
When you feel that tinge of discomfort standing in line at the grocery store, or stuck at a red light. What do you do?
Pull out your phone, scroll a bit, and boom, pain averted.
So what happens when you sit down to write, to study, to do your job?
To do work that requires undisrupted focus for long periods of time?
That’s right, you start to feel that discomfort, (the pain of boredom), and your mind wanders.
Instead of doing the hard work, we find ourselves doom scrolling social media, chatting with coworkers, or pretty much anything other than the work.
I’ll be touching on this topic a lot in future posts, as it’s something I’m working to correct in my own life, but one thing is clear — This is not the path to a happy life.
In fact, it could be the path to a wasted life, never achieving the things that matter and, (only after it’s too late), realizing we let a lack of focus eat up our most precious asset… our time.
Consider this quote from William Irvine’s A Guide to the Good Life:
There is a danger that you will mislive—that despite all your activity, despite all the pleasant diversions you might have enjoyed while alive, you will end up living a bad life. There is, in other words, a danger that when you are on your deathbed, you will look back and realize that you wasted your one chance at living. Instead of spending your life pursuing something genuinely valuable, you squandered it because you allowed yourself to be distracted by the various baubles life has to offer.
I don’t want to reach the end of my life, look back, and regret spending all my time on BS, instead of living a meaningful life.
So what do we do?
I’ll write more about this in future posts, but these two things are a great start.
Realize there’s a problem
Do you know how much time the average American will spend on their phone in a lifetime?
9 years
Nine precious years of our lives, literally staring at a piece of glowing glass… and that’s not even including screen time from TV and video games!
I don’t need to explain why this is a huge problem.
At the end of our life, I think we’d do anything to have those 9 years back, and have lived them better.
In 9 years of life how much could you have done? Learned languages, a new hobby, took dance classes, spent more time enjoying nature or present time with family.
We have to reclaim our time, and our lives.
Take account of your time
There’s a saying “What gets measured, gets managed”.
You don’t even have to change anything. Tracking alone will change your perspective.
Pull up the screen time on your phone… how do the numbers look?
Keep a mental note of when you’re watching TV too.
How much time this week has gone to Netflix, scrolling Tiktok, or playing yet another round of Call of Duty?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with these things, but if they’re taking time from more meaningful work and hobbies that you have, or if you’re using them to numb your pain, then that becomes a problem.
When you start tracking how much time you spend on certain things… it can be a shocking realization, and might push you to make some changes.
The danger of misliving has never been greater.
The world has an answer to every discomfort, but those things don’t lead to a happy or meaningful life.
If we want to reach our full potential, build a life we can truly be proud of, and achieve mastery in the things that matter most to us… well it starts with reclaiming our time and focus.
More to come on this soon.
Until then,
Thanks for reading.